Hello dear supermoms,
I am going through very bad days during these 6 months. I hav been married for 9 yrs, my husband is a very good man( every girl will dream to hav a guy like my husband, no boozing, no smoking, no any bad habits). When we got married I had a govt job in my home town and my dad had promised my in-laws to make a transfer to my in-laws place after marriage. But after marriage situations changed and I didn’t get a transfer. I used to travel to my in-laws during weekend and stay there( during this stay me and my husband never spent time going out as my husbands main intension was I should get adjusted to his family( especially mom in law who is a teacher and very much dominating in their family). I only used to travel every weekend and my hubby never came back to my place if at all I missed one week also going there due to emergency. During these periods my mother in law started taunting me like hav I served a cup of coffee to my husband wen he comes back from office tire etc. In my in-laws house also everyone started pressurising me to leave the job as I cud get jobs easily in my in laws place( not govt.). My parents were totally against resigning me from the job. But I thought it’s my husband house which is my house and because I am here my husband is not getting time to know me fully, I resigned the job and went to my in-laws place against my parents wishes. But problems started after coming to my in laws, my mother in law is very dominating and she used to question me for every small small issues ( as my parents has made me grow independently), which started irritating me. And more over I was jobless I had that pain inside me. When my hubby used to take me out, if at all we had food outside, if at all we bring anything against my mom in laws wish for every one or the other subject she used to make an issue. I was silent and not reacting for some time, but after some days I thought if I keep on silent she will increase, so I started reacting and which made the matters worst.. I was also depressed as I did not get any job, she never understood. But my husband was supportive. But he never used to take me out, or purchase me, anything surprises nothing because of his parents fear. Yes sometimes he has taken me out. And I got a jon too. I concieved meanwhile and I thought atleast now my hubby will support me by fulfilling my wishes, but it was my misunderstanding.. No one cared during my pregnancy, and during many days I hav taken breakfast in the canteen near my office due to misunderstandings in my family.. No one cared. After going through all the pains my son arrived and I went to my parents house, during my stay in my parents house too my in laws came only 3 times to see my son during my 6 months stay( in fact my in laws were very eager to receive my child in their family) and my mom in law complained that I had to call her once in a day to tell about my son’s improvement and al( as I didn’t had any work in home other than taking care of my son and she had ful work in her school). When I came back with my son after 6 months too, I did not had warm welcome. I extended my leave one more month and stayed in my in-laws house.. She expected me to wake my son up at morning 7 O clock so that she will make him bath.. I didn’t do that and me and my hubby only gave bath to my child.. My in law had earned leaves which she cud hav taken to take care of my son, but she didn’t take and told to my hubby that because my behavior with them is rude so they don’t want to take leave and take care of their own grandson. They never considered me as a par of their family. Frequent quarrels and misunderstandings were always there, and since the time of my child’s birth I was insisting mu hubby that we will move out of the house( my logic was, nowadays girls will get married to a joint family as she will be working and the grandparents will take care of her child atleast after her maternity leaves, true na?, or else why do we need to marry to a joint family?) After 3 yrs of struggle we moved to another house, and not even one( father in law, or mother in law or brother in law) made atleast one trial to stop us. During this period once I had tried to commit suicide too. After moving out too, my hubby daily went to my in-laws house and taking with him my kid too.. My in laws just wanted my hubby and thier grandchild, I was never included in their family.. I started living with my hubby, but I always knew my hubbys full happiness was with his parents.. First year I went to my in-laws house in ganesha festival, and in pitrapaksha too.. I too expected that my in-laws will come to my child’s birthday, but they didn’t come.. My hubby tried a lot to make patch up between us, but mi in laws r very egoistic and I too was showing my ego. During our stay apart my hubby didn’t take any responsibilities of our house like house advance payment, rent payment, and groceries also first one to two years I only used take and come. I put my all hard earned money to setup my new house.. I was putting my own business during these periods, somehow I lost my job and started concentrating on my own business which was a loss for me.. In the mean time my son and hubby were going to my in-laws house and coming.. My hubby stopped making attempts to patch me and my in-laws, I too stopped thinking about that.. But I used to quarrell with my hubby due to loss in my business, I got feelings like my hubby doesn’t love me as I failed in my carrier too and in making a good family too.. I think I suffered from anxiety which I put blame on my hubby.. He has tolerated me to maximum, I used to tel him because of me his carrier will also spoil, so let him give me divorce and take my kid and go back to his parents house. I hav told him this so many times( may be I was confident that he will not leave me) I used to blame him for my present situation.. He got fed up with me and left me during March, I went to him begged him, pleaded him to come back but he didn’t.. 2 months back I hav gotten divorce notice from him.. I can’t live without him, I hav realised my mistakes I want to live happily with him.. My business has improved a lot after he left me.. I too don’t hav any problems ( biggest problem was no improvements in carrier) I want him back in my life. My parents r not supporting me as I left my job against their wish, my in laws r not even bothered( as if they always wanted this to happen). When I went to my in-laws house to call back to my hubby, I became emotional and tried to tie knot in my neck,. My all these behaviours had made him to take this step I know it, but now I hav realised my mistake.. I will never repeat this again, I want to lead happy life with my hubby and son.. After I got the divorce notice I went to my in-laws house, he was not there, my hubby is absconding since 2 months.. I went to my in-laws house and stayed there hoping he will come back, but he didn’t.. My in-laws daily used to talk to my hubby, but never revealed me where he was.. My hubby is not picking my call, nor replying to my msgs.. I hav become blank, during my stay in my in-laws house I begged to my in-laws too to forgive me and tel me where he was.. They didn’t even bothered to answer to their own grandson when he asked about his dad.. Their attitude didn’t change not even 5%( I went there as I thought my hubby wud come back if everything between me and my in laws becomes alright) but my in-laws they r so stubborn.. I want my husband back.. Please don’t judge me, please.. I hav left my rented house and hav started to live in PG with my son since one month, as I used to cry a lot remembering my hubby there, I used to feel his absence very much.. Not only for that, but also if I do not receive the divorce notice by myself I need not go to the court( as my lawyer told me) , the case will get delayed.. I don’t want to go to court, I want to settle the issues out of court.. If my hubby comes back I am damn sure something will happen.. But I don’t know where he is.. What shal I do now? Is it right to leave my house? If at all he doesn’t want to live with me let him come and decide out of court.. I don’t want to waste my money on these shitty things.. I hav to earn and save money now, for my son’s future.. Please give ur valuable suggestions…
Thank u all for ur patience reading and for all ur suggestions
